Singledom = boredom?

I received an e-mail yesterday from an east-coast dwelling friend who was responding to my note alerting her to this new blog venture. It seems she has high hopes for this blog, particularly since my mother would not be a reader. It sounds as if she's hoping for some juicy tales to entertain her. For one, she wants me to write on the topic of "fuck buddies," but I think I may take a pass on that unless I get truly desperate for material... "Personally," she wrote, "I have no idea what a thirty-something single man's life is all about." Which makes perfect sense: she's not yet in her 30s, she's not single and she's not a male. (Don't worry A.: I'm not taking the piss out of you!) I guess she figures stories of a city-dwelling bachelor would prove to be both interesting and educational. Hell, perhaps in some ways she's hoping to live vicariously through me!

However all I could think of was: great, yet-another challenge to add to the "month of challenges." I have to prove how wild and wonderful it is to be a 30-something single male.

I hate to dispel the image of the cool, swinging bachelor that I've tried to cultivate - yeah, right! - but the single life, or at least my single life, hasn't really been that grand of an adventure. Sure, this past year (and I've only been a 30-something single male for just over a year; before that, I was a pretty happy and stable attached male for almost all my 30s) has had its moments, but it's also been one of the most difficult years of my life. There's been some terribly painful and lonely moments, not to mention some unbelievably bewildering ones (I may write about some of them in a future post; stay tuned!). There has also been some serious questioning and soul searching of my motives to remove myself from a relationship that had many more highs than lows. In short, my first year of singledom has not only been a very thoughtful and somewhat self-loathing one, it's been the epitome of a classic up-and-down affair.

So what does a single male do on a free weekend like this? (And now that I think about it, it really is the first weekend in quite a while where I have absolutely nothing planned. There are no book sales, no parties and no commitments. The weekend time is entirely my own.) Well, this Saturday played out like most Saturdays: the cat woke me up at 7:00 to get fed, I went back to bed and slept for about another hour, got up and went to the local IGA to pick up some groceries to get me through the weekend and the first half of next week, had my breakfast (cereal, toast and melon) while reading the paper and listening to "The House" on CBC, did the dishes I had left from yesterday, made myself a pot of coffee, and brought the coffee and the paper to the next room to read while watching an English Premier League match. The rest of the day is still open, as are the evening hours. I'll probably do some reading, I may venture out to the movies, perhaps I'll take a nap.

Would you trade your life for mine?